June
Respect
This month’s newsletter is dedicated to the three men that I respect the most. I always think of June as the month to honor your father. It is the month of Father’s Day and also my father’s birthday and wedding anniversary. Not a day goes by that I don’t remember something wise that my father said. I admire and respect my father for so many reasons. He was a self-made man with no education. He taught me to learn by watching and listening. This is how he developed himself into a successful business man. My father had the best work ethic ever. He had been in a near fatal car crash when I was seven and had severe arthritis. Every morning he would sit on the edge of his bed and moan and pray until he could finally get up. He would then, without ever complaining, get dressed and go to work. He loved working and was still active as a business consultant until he died at the age of 73.
Set an Example
The night he died, his Dr. confided to me that my father had a medical condition and had known that he only had 5 years to live. He never told anyone about his medical condition or that he was dying. My father was a devout Catholic but he was not at all self-righteous or pious. However, he set the example of going to church every Sunday no matter what. Every night he said a prayer with me before I went to bed. I can still hear his prayers in my head and they are such a comfort. He also, set an example of secret giving. After he died, I was going through some papers and found out that he had sent a boy through a private catholic school alter the boy’s father had died. He told the school to never tell anyone who provided the scholarship.
Teach Life Skills
My father believed in teaching life skills. By the age of 12, he had taught me how to mow, drive, check into a hotel, and how to go to a restaurant by myself. He mentored many younger men and was a loyal friend. He demonstrated how to make friends, and how to have a dinner, brunch, or party. My father was respected and successful because he took a sincere interest in others and was inspirational. My father gave me my core character strengths of honesty, spirituality, bravery, generosity, and persistence. As a coach, in working with my clients, I try to be the mentor and example to them that my father was to me.
Pass on Traditions
Another man that I admire and respect is the famous Charro, Jerry (Gerardo) Diaz (charrojerrydiaz.com 830-629-2226) .A charro is a Mexican horseman who maintains a culture, etiquette, mannerisms, and clothing style dating back to the Spanish Conquest. Charros rode in militias during the Mexican War of Independence. Jerry Diaz is a 4th generation Charro, going back to his great grandfather. His wife Staci is a 3rd generation horsewoman, known for her roman riding, dancing horses, and liberty tricks. Jerry is raising their son Nicolas to be a 5th generation Charro. The Diaz family gives magnificent performances with their horses. I admire Jerry for being one of the top horsemen in the world. However, I respect him for honoring his father and for passing his traditions to his son.
Pride in your Heritage
Every year, Jerry gives a tribute to his parents Jose “Pepe” Diaz and Rosa Diaz by having an extravaganza and rodeo in their honor. Jerry treats all people and horses with respect. He is as kind to a young boy as he is to a very wealthy person. He has a way of making everyone feel equally important. I have been fortunate to take a number of clinics and lessons from Jerry. I noticed that he constantly tells stories of what he learned from his father. Jerry and I share the fact that we were both very close to our fathers and are respectful of our heritage. Any man would do well to emulate Jerry as a father, business man, horseman and friend. Jerry is brave, consistent, honest, and discerning. He reaches thousands of young people through his performances, events and clinics. Who are you reaching out to and what are you showing them?
Showing Kindness and Compassion
Another man I can’t go through June without thinking about is my friend, Larry Keenan. Larry was also one of the bravest, kindest, most genuine men that I have ever known we grew up together in the rural Catholic community of Wea Kansas. Larry was handsome, popular, athletic and smart. In spite of this he was humble, nice to everyone and always stood up for the unpopular children who were bullied. Larry’s parents were dairy farmers and he knew the meaning of hard work. He married Jane the love of his life, and had 2 sons and 2 grandchildren. After farming, Larry had a successful career with a large corporation. In the midst of all of these accomplishments he had many tragedies. His younger sister that he was extremely close to was killed in a car accident the night she graduated from high school. Larry took care of his grandmother and his mother while they were elderly and dying. He cared for his beloved wife, Jane for years before she died of cancer.
A Promise to a Friend
After Jane died Larry’s health deteriorated. He lived with Lou Gehrig’s disease for 12 years. Even after he was in a wheel chair, Larry was still a joy to visit. I would go by his house on my way home from work and we’d laugh and reminisce. Everyone loved Larry because he was so non-judgmental and humble. He never made you feel bad about yourself. Larry fought to stay alive for years with ALS because he wanted to be there for his sons and grandchildren. Larry never indulged in side pity. He died in his sleep with a smile on his face. This is a true story, I went over to see him before the funeral home came. I saw the smile for myself and I knew where Larry was. Every time we saw each other we’d say if I don’t see you tomorrow, I’ll see you in Heaven.” Larry was the ultimate friend. What kind of friend are you?
Creating Your Legacy
How are you honoring your father? If your father wasn’t honorable, who would you like to emulate? It’s important to have role models and I’ve shared 3 of mine. The best thing you can do for your self is to find a mentor. The next thing you need to do is think about the example you are setting for others. What kind of father, mother, or friend are you. We all will leave behind some kind of memory. Don’t let your memory be vague or unpleasant. It’s time to decide what you stand for in life and start living out the legacy you will bequeath to others.
Soul Searching
Sometimes we are so stressed and busy that we are not living our lives intentionally. You may need to carve out some quiet time. Identify who you admire and why you admire them. Decide what strengths you want to develop. To find your top 5 character strengths, go to www.viacharacter.org and take the Values in Action Survey. If you need a quiet place to get away, book a weekend at my country retreat in Buffalo, Missouri.
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